Lotr Fanfic "In the Course of Time 06/07"
Jul. 10th, 2009 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nanuk_dainIn the Course of Time - PART 6
***
Haldir lay on a branch, stared through the leaves into the darkening sky and took a deep breath. He had been back at Lorien for nearly two weeks now, but his mood had not improved. He was silent and even more withdrawn than he normally was. He could not keep his thoughts from returning to Éomer. To occupy his mind, Haldir had begun to build bows again, a craft he had not pursued in several decades. He was very productive in his free hours, but it had not brought the desired effect.
“You are thinking about your Man, are you not?” Rúmil had approached him silently and was now slowly and gracefully sitting down on the branch next to him. Haldir did not bother to look up, he knew Rúmil would not let go of him before he got an answer.
“He is not my Man.” Haldir said instead of a response.
Rúmil only laughed at that. “Then you are in denial, my dear brother.”
“What do you mean by that?” Haldir frowned slightly and turned his head to glare at his brother, but Rúmil was immune to his stare.
“You feel for him.” the other Elf simply stated. “I saw it in the way you treated him, in every word and every gesture. And I saw the braids when he left.”
Haldir tensed, then he sighted wearily.
“When you braided his hair you stated to every Elf who saw him that he is yours.” Rúmil watched him closely. “And I know you well enough to understand you would not do such a thing lightly.”
He seemed to think and then he added after a short pause: “In fact, I cannot remember that you have ever done it.”
Haldir remained silent and held his gaze focussed on the stars he could see through the leaves. Rúmil simply sat next to him and waited, he knew Haldir was going to speak and just needed some time to order his thoughts. “You are right. I have never done it before.”
“You care for him greatly, then.” his brother stated the obvious.
“More than I should.” Haldir heard himself admit after a moment. “He is the King of Rohan now, there is no place for me.”
“But there was before?”
“Maybe. I do not know.” Haldir sighted gravely. “It is not important anyway, for the situation has changed and he is King now.”
Rúmil was silent for some time, then he turned to his brother with serious eyes. “Does he care for you as much as you care for him?”
“We never expressed in words what we felt for we both knew there was no future.” Haldir held his gaze. “But there was no doubt we both were aware of our connection.”
“So he does return your affection.” Rúmil stated, eyebrows raised.
“Aye, he does. But there is no way we can live our feelings.” Haldir could hear himself how resigned he sounded when he spoke those words.
“So you will just remain as you were for the last weeks?” Something in Rúmil's tone made Haldir look up. “We can all see your grief, dear brother. You are experienced enough that you should be able to realise that you show the symptoms of a broken heart.”
“Do I?” Now that Rúmil had said it, Haldir could indeed see it. Still, it took him by surprise. He had been aware how deeply he cared for Éomer, but up to now he had avoided to name those feelings. He knew it would only make his pain worse. “Aye, I guess I do.”
“It pains me to see you like this.” Rúmil gently touched his brother's arm. “Is there anything we can do to change the situation?”
Haldir shook his head with a sad smile. “There is nothing.”
***
Éowyn looked over the words she had written in the last two hours, then she took a deep breath and rolled the sheet and applied her seal. Then she sent for Aldar, her most trusted messenger who arrived in her chambers mere minutes later.
“Listen well.” Éowyn kept the scroll in a firm grip in her fist. “This is a message for Haldir of Lothlorien. He is the Warden of the Woods. I want you to pass this message to him – and to him only. Nobody else is allowed to receive it.”
The man nodded, took the sealed scroll and put it in a hidden pocket of his tunic.
“Ride fast and safe, Aldar, for this is important.” The Lady gave him an insistent gaze.
“Be reassured, I will deliver your message safely to Haldir of Lothlorien, my Lady.” He bowed deeply and left the Hall. Éowyn let her gaze trail after him and hoped sincerely that she was doing the right thing.
***
“A Man entered the woods.” Haldir listened to Rúmil while they approached the position of the trespasser. “He bears the emblem of Rohan.”
Haldir nodded and tried not to react any different than he would have reacted to a trespasser of any other kingdom. They quickly came to a spot from where they could see the Man walking between the trees. He did not appear suspicious, he rather moved like somebody who wanted to be found. Haldir gave signal to the rest of his Elves and they spread around the Man.
“Why do you enter these woods?” Haldir left the shadows of the trees and revealed himself. “Speak.”
The Man stopped and lifted his arms to prove he had no intention to pull a weapon. “I am Aldar son of Amar. I come from Rohan and I bring message from Lady Éowyn of Rohan for Haldir of Lothlorien.”
Even without looking, Haldir knew that his brother was staring at his back with a smirk on his face.
“You can give your message to us, Aldar of Rohan.” Rúmil said behind him. “We will pass it on.”
The Man shook his head. “I cannot do that, Master Elf, for I promised my Lady to only hand it to Haldir of Lorien in person.”
“Is that so?” Rúmil asked and Haldir could hear the silent triumph in his voice. “You are blessed by the spirits then, because Haldir of Lorien is our captain.”
Haldir stepped forward and slowly walked towards the Man. His archers still had their arrows pointed at the Man. “I am Haldir of Lorien.”
The Man eyed him carefully, then he gave a small smile.“Yes, you are. I recognise you from Helm's Deep. You led the archers that came to our help.”
Haldir nodded and indicated the other guardians to lower their bows. The Man reached into a pocked in his tunic and produced a small, sealed scroll. “I was told to let you know this was important.”
He held the scroll out and Haldir took it out of his hand and put it in one of his own pockets. “In this case, you will excuse me. My Elves will show you a place where you can rest before you return.”
Haldir nodded to Rúmil before he left the group for some privacy. His brother was he second in command and knew very well what to do, there was no need to worry about the other guardians. So he walked until he reached the small stream he had aimed for and sat down on the root of a tree before he took the scroll out of his pocket. He wondered briefly why the Lady of Rohan wrote him, but then curiosity got the better of him and he broke the seal and unrolled the scroll.
The handwriting was small but strong and elegant. It fitted perfectly the woman who had produced it, Haldir thought with a small smile.
“Be greeted, Haldir of Lorien,
I know you must wonder for what reason I send a message to you. It concerns my brother who is very dear to me and, if my impression does not err, so is he to you. Normally I would not interfere with his decisions, but I do not wish to see him unhappy. I am aware that your connection runs deeper than mere fellow warriors and I ask you to think about what exactly he means to you.
I do not know what those braids you did signify, for I am certain they have a meaning, but I know that my brother still wears them and refuses to take them out. If you feel what I suspect you do, then use this information wisely.
To mid July my brother will return to Minas Tirith to bring our uncle home for a funeral within our ancestors. I know the capital of Gondor is faster and easier to reach from Lorien then Edoras is, as the Great River brings you there directly. A meeting at Elessar's court could give both of you the time and leisure you need.
I hope I do not offend you with my boldness, but I feel there is the need to interfere because I know my brother is too stubborn and proud to do what is good for him. I hope you are not, for I wish to see him happy again.
Yours sincerely,
Éowyn of Rohan”
Haldir stared at the scroll in his hand for some minutes, then he read it again. He was not certain his eyes had not mislead him, but after the third time reading the message, he was sure that the Lady was indeed far more daring than most people gave her credit for. And he finally understood why she had insisted that the message be handed to him personally only.
Now he had to decide what to do with the information the Lady had given him. He did not know her very well, but he was certain that the situation must be severe if it made her write something like this. She loved her brother dearly, he was certain of this.
“What shall I do?” Haldir whispered gently to himself. “Shall I go or shall I not?”
“I want you to go.” Haldir turned in surprise to find his Rúmil standing behind him. “You need him, he is your other half.”
“You do not know what the message was about, so how can you give any advice?” Haldir was well aware that his harsh words were meant to be his own defence.
“The Lady of Rohan sent you a message strictly directed at you only. She happens to be the sister of the Man you fell for and a very fierce and intelligent woman, as we both know.” Rúmil made a little pause before he continued. “It was not very difficult to figure out in which matter she was writing.”
“It would not be wise to go.” Haldir knew his own resistance was thin and Rúmil's words made it crumble.
“It is not important whether it is wise or not. I do not want to see your light fade if there is any way to prevent that from happening.” His brother's arms were crossed and his whole posture spoke of determination. “If Lady Éowyn wrote you, she must be concerned. Go and see him.”
“Nothing has changed, though.” Haldir tried everything to convince himself that it was better not to leave for Minas Tirith, even though his heart screamed for it. “He is still King of Rohan and I am a mere guardian of the woods, and an Elf and male on top of it. There is no future for us.”
Rúmil came over to where his brother sat and put his hand on his shoulder. “If he suffers anything like you, she is doing the right thing trying to bring the two of you back together.”
Haldir took a deep breath and let the air escape with a sigh. “I want to see him so much that I do not trust my own judgement where he is concerned. It is my duty to do what is right, not to pursue what I crave.”
“Maybe it is the same this time.” Rúmil just replied with a little smile.
It happened that destiny helped Haldir to make his decision. When he and his guards returned to Caras Galadhon that evening, Lady Galadriel sent for him and Haldir made his way over to meet her. She received him with a friendly smile, but Haldir knew her long enough to be able to read that there was more behind it than mere greeting.
“We will leave for Gondor in a week.” the Lady announced without preamble. “The cortège for King Theoden of Rohan will leave Minas Tirith in less than a fortnight and we will join it. You are to prepare the journey and send word to Estel's court.”
“Aye, my Lady.” Haldir said with a slight bow.
“I want you to accompany us. I understand you have yourself a matter to settle with the young King of Rohan.” She gave him a gentle smile. “You will find time to do so once we arrive at Minas Tirith.”
Haldir returned the smile. “Thank you, my Lady.”
“I hope you will be able to find a satisfactory solution.” Her gaze was firm but it showed concern. “We all want your light to glow brightly, Haldir, not as it was in the last months.”
Haldir nodded slowly. “I will do what I can. As far as I have any influence on the matter.”
“You have great influence.” She fixed her intense gaze onto him. “It is your own opinion you need to question.”
Haldir held her eyes. She nodded with one of her half smiles that always left him guessing what she thought and let him now he might leave.
“My Lady.” He bowed and turned.
It was but a week later that the company under Haldir's guidance left Lothlorien for the haven at the Great River. They would travel mostly on the river, but still the journey would take at least a week and Haldir wanted to arrive at Estel's court with enough time to let his Lady and Lord settle for some days.
It was with relief that he noticed Minas Tirith coming into sight after exactly seven days of travelling. It was noon when they moored the ships to the quays of Osgiliath and early afternoon when they passed the gates of the capital of Gondor. Haldir and Rúmil made their way up to the King's House and organised the housing of their company with the housekeeper who had been informed of his arrival in advance and had already prepared the chambers.
Once the Lady and the Lord as well as his Elves were settled in their respective quarters, Haldir used the bathing facilities to wash off the dirt from the journey and braided his hair, then he put on clean clothes and joined his fellow travellers in the Great Hall to pay his courtesy to Estel and Arwen. He had not the slightest idea if Éomer had already arrived at court or not, but he was certain he would find out once he talked to Estel.
When Haldir arrived at the entry of the Great Hall, he remained dead in his tracks in the doorway and found himself staring at the figure next to Arwen. Lady Éowyn had told the truth, he could see that the braids in the blond hair of her brother were slightly outgrown and ruffled, bespeaking the fact that he had neither taken them out nor redone them in the two and a half months since Haldir had braided them. It felt like a shock of joy as well as of anticipation.
Haldir shook out of his reverie and walked into the hall. He felt himself grow nervous at the prospect of being close to the Man again. For once he had no idea how Éomer would react to his presence and furthermore Haldir also knew he could not resist the Rohirrim. With a last deep breath Haldir approached Arwen and the King of Rohan.
***
The day had been filled with preparations for the departure of the funeral procession of his uncle that was to leave the next morning. Éomer had been at Minas Tirith for three days and it had taken all that time to ready the procession. There would be several high guest travel with them, from Aragorn and Lady Arwen to the Lady and the Lord of Lothlorien who had arrived earlier that afternoon. Éomer had been so occupied with all the tasks he had to fulfil before they would leave in the morning that he had not even had the time to find out if Haldir was with the company of Lorien. The thought had not left him since he had heard of the messenger who had arrived in the morning to announce the Lady and the Lord of the Woods.
It was early afternoon and Éomer stood next to Queen Arwen in the Great Hall, talking with her about the arrangements for the departure of the next morning. The Lady and the Lord of Lothlorien had arrived some time ago and had joined the other guests in the hall, but there had been no sign of Haldir. Éomer had greeted the Lady and the Lord of the Woods but it had not been the moment to ask about his Elf, so he was still waiting to learn if Haldir had been part of the company or not.
“Greetings to you, Lady Arwen and Lord Éomer.” The Man heard a familiar voice behind him and felt himself tense immediately. He slowly turned and felt a wave of several feeling sweep over him, everything from concern to anticipation to desire when he saw the face of Haldir, his slightly amused smile and his expressive eyes that told him that the Elf was not as relaxed as he pretended to be.
“Haldir!” Queen Arwen smiled widely and greeted the other Elf with a cordial embrace. “It is good to see you came as well.”
“Of course I came.” Haldir returned her gesture. “I wish to pay King Theoden respect just as my Lady and my Lord do.”
Éomer listened to them and felt unable to participate in the conversation. His voice was gone and the urge to touch Haldir to convince himself that the Elf was truly there became overwhelmingly strong. With all his ingrained discipline, Éomer forced himself to regain his composure.
“It is a pleasant surprise to see you so soon again.” Éomer said formally and was proud that his voice did not betray the turmoil of his thoughts.
“That is true, my friend.” Haldir was equally polite, but when Éomer caught his gaze, he knew immediately that the Elf felt no better than he did. “May I borrow King Éomer for a moment, my Lady?”
“Of course, Haldir.” Éomer was certain he saw mirth in the Queen's eyes. “I have to look after my other guests anyway.”
Haldir and Éomer bowed when she turned with a little smile and left them standing in the hall. Haldir caught the Man's gaze and said quietly: “Follow me.”
Not for a moment did it occur to Éomer to not go after the Elf, he just followed him through the corridors of the King's House until the Elf opened a door and let him in. Once the door had fallen shut behind them, Éomer felt Haldir's hand in his hair, toying with one of the outgrown braids. The Man leaned against the wood in his back and locked his gaze with the Elf. He had to fight to keep his hands down and prevent them from pulling Haldir close.
“We should not do this.” Éomer said and he himself could hear how half-hearted it sounded. Haldir's closeness did not exactly help him to stay concentrated either, he could feel the warmth of the Elf through his clothes.
“I do not care.” the Elf whispered and came even closer, until his body pressed along Éomer's. His hands wandered down the Man's chest and caused goosebumps to appear all over his body.
“Neither do I.” Éomer decided and buried his hand in the long silvery strands to pull the Elf into a fierce kiss that bespoke all the longing that had built up over the last two and a half months. All his desire came up at once and his hands buried in Haldir's clothes, trying at the same time to get beneath them and pull the Elf closer.
“Éomer...” The hoarse sound made the Man shiver.
“I love it when you say my name.” Éomer whispered in the Elf's ear and began to nibble at the sensitive top. Haldir consequently let out a moan deep in his throat and pressed closer to his lover, hands gripping into his hips. He brought their groins into contact, letting the Man feel the evidence of their mutual desire.
“Éomer...” Haldir's hands found the Man's backside and held on, slowly rubbing against the thigh that Éomer had pushed between his legs.
“You feel so good.” Éomer was slightly surprised at how breathless and needy he sounded, even to his own ears. He met the Elf's lips halfway for another kiss, one hand tangled in the long silvery strands, the other caressing the Elf's back.
“You have to many clothes on.” he heard the Elf complain teasingly and then he felt how his tunic was pulled over his head, followed by Haldir's own. There was an urge to their touches that had built over the last months, a need to feel and to reassure the other was there. Éomer felt his Elf kissing his neck, licking down over his bare chest, finding a nipple and gently biting down on it. The Man could no help a low moan, his fingers fisting in the long silvery strands.
Haldir switched to the other nipple, then he slowly let himself sink to his knees, leaving a trail of kisses and licks on his way down to the Man's groin. His hands found the fastenings and opened them quickly before pulling down the garment. Éomer felt the fresh air brush over his skin just before the Elf's mouth closed over the tip of his erection and with a throaty groan the Man's head fell backwards to lean against the wooden door in his back.
The Elf's tongue trailed along the length of his shaft, hand closing around the root and moving in sync with his head. Éomer felt like he was loosing all ability to think with every touch of his Elf and found he did not care the least, all that counted was that Haldir was here with him, his incredibly skilled mouth on the Man's erection and his hair under the Rohirrim's fingers.
“Oh Gods, Haldir...” If the Elf went on like this, Éomer knew he would not last very long. His whole body leaned against the door for support, his knees would not carry him much longer. The Elf was very skilled at this, he managed to make the Man groan again and again, slowly being reduced to a mass of nerve-endings that responded to the Elf's touch.
“Haldir...” It took Éomer a great effort to actually form words. “I am too close...”
The Elf did neither stop nor slowed down his pace. With all his strength, the Man forced some more words out. “I want to come with you.”
That seemed to work, for Haldir gently let go of Éomer's erection and got up from his knees until his head was right next to his lovers. He nibbled at the Man's throat, his hand still wrapped around his shaft, and whispered with a rough voice, “I want you.”
The words made a shiver of anticipation run down Éomer's spine and his response was equally hoarse. “Then take me.”
***
“Let us enjoy the luxury of Estel's bathhouse, meleth.” Haldir suggested when the evening approached. “We should be clean for the feast tonight.”
Éomer smiled against the skin of the Elf's chest. “I got a completely new relation to bathing since I know you, Haldir.”
Haldir chuckled. “In a positive way, I hope.”
“Indeed. I always remember how much fun it can be to take a bath with you.” the Man answered and kissed the Elf's throat.
“Let us make our way over to the bathhouse, then.” Haldir said, smile evident in his voice. They got up from the bed, put on their old clothes and gathered new ones to change for the dinner after bathing. The bathing facilities were in a separate part of the King's House and there were several large tubs in different rooms. Haldir and Éomer choose an empty room and had the tub filled with hot water while they undressed and stepped into the large tub.
“Shall I redo your braids?” Haldir asked casually while he sat back in the hot water.
Éomer laughed gently. “Aye, I think they seriously need to be redone. They lasted long the way they are.”
“That is true, melamin.” Haldir grinned and then lazily glided through the water towards Éomer. He opened one braid after the other and let his hands glide through the hair to loosen the strands, at the same time enjoying the feeling of their softness under his fingers. He took the soap and slowly washed his lover's hair, enjoying the way Éomer leaned into his touch. When they had finished bathing and had returned to their chambers, the Rohirrim's hair was mostly dry. Haldir sat behind him on the bed and carefully braided the strands in the same fashion he had done before.
Once he was finished, Haldir fingered one of the newly made braids and began to gently toy with it. The fire played with the colours of Éomer's hair and varied them again and again.
“So, will you tell me what they mean?” Éomer asked quietly and enjoyed to simply lean back against the Elf and lie in front of the fire.
“Hmm?” Haldir nuzzled the Man's ear and knew he was just trying to gain time because he was not certain he was ready to answer that question.
“The braids.” the Rohirrim added quietly.
“May I ask you something first?” Haldir lazily let his fingers trail over the Man's chest, drew tangled patterns and played with the chest hair that so fascinated him.
Éomer made an affirmative little sound.
“Why did you keep the braids?” Haldir felt his heart actually speed up while he waited for the answer.
“I cannot explain it, but they feel important. For you. And therefore for me.” Éomer's voice was low, barely audible, but Haldir's sharp Elven hearing easily picked the words up. He let go of the breath that he had not realised he had held, relaxed and buried his face in the blond curls in front of him.
“They are Elven love braids.” he answered gently. “For me, they are important.”
Haldir felt Éomer tense for a moment and fought down the panic that threatened to rise at the Man's reaction. Then Éomer relaxed and snuggled even deeper in his embrace. “So they are for me.”
The Elf felt a smile spread over his features. After a short pause, he heard Éomer add something, his voice considerably deeper and a little bit husky. “I'm glad I did not take them out.”
“Me too, meleth.” Haldir agreed and gently kissed the temple of his lover.
“Love.” Éomer said quietly.
“What?” Haldir was confused for a moment, he could not follow the Man's train of thought.
“You called me love.” the Man explained.
“You understand my tongue?” Haldir was very surprised and at the same time felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. He should have considered this possibility instead of simply assuming that the Man did not understand him.
“Enough to know what the endearments you used mean.” Éomer answered and Haldir was relieved to hear the smile in the Man's voice. “I understood the gradual change from friend to love, too.”
“You did not tell me.” Haldir said and was relieved that there was no reproach in his voice.
He felt Éomer slowly shake his head. “Nay.”
“Why?”
“Because the assumption that I did not understand you made you say honestly what you felt.” the Man said gently. “It was my way of knowing what this whole thing between us meant to you.”
“You are right, meleth.” Haldir replied and kissed Éomer on the neck. “I used these names because I thought you did not know what they meant.”
The Man let his head fall back to rest on Haldir's shoulder. “Would you teach me your tongue?”
For a moment, the Elf was silent. “You would want to learn it?”
“I would.” Éomer kissed the ear in his reach and smiled. “I want to understand and speak your beautiful language.”
“I would be honoured to teach you.” Haldir answered and let his arms slide around the Man in an loose embrace.
“I have to leave tomorrow for Edoras, though.” Éomer said quietly and rested his lips against the Elf's neck.
“I will be part of the procession and the burial ritual to show my respect, as you know. So I will be with you at Edoras, I can teach you then.” Haldir suggested, letting his hands draw slow patterns on the Man's chest.
“That is a good idea.” Éomer caught the Elf's hands and pulled the arms around him in a tight embrace. “It will be good to know you with me, during the procession as well as afterwards.”
“I will do whatever I can to support you.” Haldir said gently and tightened his hold on his lover. “I understand how difficult it is to bury a loved one and show strength at the same time.”
“Thank you, my love.” Éomer replied, then paused. “Melamin.”
Haldir could not help smiling, at the words as well as at the meaning. “You learn fast, meleth.”
***
The morning was clouded when they left Minas Tirith with the cortège that would take the dead King Theoden back to Edoras where his burial would take place. Éomer rode at the head of the procession, Haldir to his right and Aragorn to his left. It would take them several weeks at this speed to reach Edoras and Éomer was glad he had Haldir with him. The journey itself might not be tiring at its slow pace, but the emotional strain that had not worn off yet concerning the death of his uncle and the new duties as King of Rohan wore him out. It was the knowledge that he could leave everything behind when he was finally alone with his Elf that made him stand through the days.
When Edoras came into sight, the way of the procession to the Golden Hall was framed with the people of Rohan who had come from all over the country to pay their last respect to the fallen King. Éomer felt his throat tighten at the sight of the masses standing in ghostly silence to both sides of the way, bowing when the bier of the dead King passed them. It was an atmosphere of deep respect and sincere mourning that let a shiver run down Éomer's spine. He hoped he could follow the example of his uncle and be the kind of King his people needed and would respected. He had never been meant to be King of Rohan and at this moment he felt truly inadequately prepared for the task lying ahead of him.
It was then that he felt a leg against his and he turned to find Haldir had ridden close enough to brush his leg. The Elf gave him an encouraging nod, his eyes smiling at him since he could not do it openly in the middle of the procession. The small gesture gave Éomer the strength to sit up straight and ride with the dignity worthy of the King of Rohan. It was his duty to his people and he would master every obstacle that may come.
When they arrived at Meduseld, Theoden was laid in state in the hall in a silent ceremony. The burial would be in two days, when the ceremony and celebrations in memory of the great King were thoroughly prepared. Éomer was tense in those days. Haldir was not sharing his quarters but had a separate chamber and they could not spend as much time with each other as the Man would have liked. It was difficult to even find a moment alone and even more unlikely that he could spent it with the Elf.
Then the day of the actual burial of King Theoden had come and Éomer felt the weight of the whole kingdom on his shoulders when the bier with the body of his uncle, covered in a golden cloth, passed him and was carried into the burial mound. The ceremony made it final that the time of King Theoden was over and that the days of King Éomer had begun.
The celebrations after the burial were the greatest feast the Golden Hall had ever seen. It had taken two days to prepare it, but the work had been worth it. Éomer saw his people remember with a laugh, saw them eat and drink together while sharing stories and games, saw them dance and smile and knew that the feast had served it purpose. He stood at the upper end of the hall and watched his people and all the different guests from Elves to Gondorians to Dwarfs mingle contently in the festivities.
“It is a great celebration.” Éomer heard a familiar voice behind him and did not need to turn to know who it was.
“My uncle would have liked it.” the Man said quietly, but with a little smile. “He would have wanted the people to smile at his memory, not to cry.”
“Then you succeeded to fulfil that wish.” Haldir stepped next to him, but remained in an appropriate distance, and lowered his voice. “Let go of your grief, meleth. That is what this celebration is meant for.”
“I know.” Éomer's voice was equally quiet. “I try to go on. It helps to see Éowyn smile again.”
Haldir followed the Man's gaze to where the Lady of Rohan stood together with the Steward of Gondor and Arwen. Her smile was gentle and full of affection for the Man at her side.“She has found her happiness, it seems.”
“Aye, she has. She truly deserves it.” Haldir turned his head to watch his lover. Éomer's smile was gentle and sincere. “She wants to marry him.”
“And you agree.” It was more a statement than a question.
“She made a wise choice. Faramir of Gondor is a good man and he is as fond of her as she is of him.”
“She will leave Rohan, then.” Haldir remarked quietly. It was another blow for Éomer, not that the Man would ever say so aloud. He wanted his sister to be happy and he would not do anything that might prevent her from going her way, even if it hurt him.
“Aye, she will.” He smiled wistfully. “She asked me to announce her engagement to Faramir tonight.”
“So the decision is taken.” Haldir watched the Lady of Rohan again and found that she had done the right thing. It was obvious that she was happy with the Steward, and the glow in the Man's eyes told him Faramir shared her feelings. Haldir adored Lady Éowyn and respected her deeply, he wanted her to leave the times of dearth and worry behind. “Is already set when she will leave?”
“No. She will stay at Edoras for some more time, though.” Éomer sounded relieved and Haldir understood that with Éowyn the last of the Man's family would leave. “It is time to make the announcement.”
Éomer stepped forward and Haldir remained where he stood at the upper end of the Golden Hall and watched his lover go over to Éowyn. He talked to her and Faramir for a moment and then they went with him to the centre of the hall. Éomer raised his voice and greeted the people gathered and announced the betrothal of his sister to Faramir of Gondor with the old words, a smile on his face. Éowyn seemed to glow from within and Faramir smiled widely when Éomer put his sisters hand in the hand of the Gondorian. It was good to see true happiness after the long times of mistrust and grief, Haldir thought with a little smile.
The celebrations went on until the morning had broken and the birds had started to sing. When Haldir returned to the quarters he had been given and shared with his brothers, he felt exhausted emotionally and physically. He would have wanted to go to sleep with Éomer in his arms, but he was well aware of the eyes that were fixed on the new King who still had to prove himself. With a little sigh Haldir lay down on the bed and stared at the wooden ceiling. He did not have any idea what kind of future he had with the Man – if there was any at all. His brothers were long asleep when Haldir was finally overtaken by sleep as well.
The following days were spent in amicable gatherings for meals and spare time to recover the long periods one had not seen each other. Éomer was gone for some time, needing to fulfil his duties as the King of Rohan. There was much to do after the mess Grima Wormtongue and the war had left. Haldir joined Éomer in some tasks to take some weight off his shoulders, and Lady Éowyn seemed to have the same idea and engaged thoroughly in the work that needed to be done. There was much financial organisation to do and Haldir and the Lady took it over to leave Éomer to the tasks that demanded his presence. In the evening, Haldir found the time to teach his lover some Sindarin for an hour or two before they attended dinner.
It was one evening about a fortnight after King Theoden's funeral that Haldir and the Lady sat bent over some parchments and some books when Éomer entered the office they worked in. He closed the door silently behind him and approached his sister and the Elf. “How are you doing?”
Lady Éowyn looked up and smiled. “We do fine. There is much left to go over, though.”
“You worked the whole day on this, is it not tiring?” Éomer asked and Haldir caught his gaze.
Lady Éowyn shook her head no. “It is difficult, but Master Haldir is excellent with this kind of work and I learn a lot from him.”
“Well, you have worked enough for today. Dinner will start shortly, leave the books be and prepare for the meal.” The Man smiled gently at his sister. “You look like you would not mind some time away from the paperwork.”
“Indeed, an evening without numbers and calculations would be nice.” The Lady stretched her neck and got up. “Master Haldir, you must stop working as well, otherwise I will stay.”
Haldir smiled at her and nodded, putting the quill demonstratively aside. “I will, my Lady. I care for a relaxed evening as much as you do.”
She smiled at him warmly. “I will see you at dinner, then.”
With the graceful movements that seemed so much part of her, she left the office and closed the door. Haldir was certain she would prepare for dinner and then spend some time with Faramir before arriving at the Golden Hall. She saw as little of him as Haldir saw of Éomer for they spent most of their time together in the office going over Rohan's finances. Haldir looked down at the papers and sanded them to make the ink dry before he set them aside, orderly piling them in one corner of the table.
“Stay.” Haldir was surprised by the word and turned to look at Éomer who stood at the desk, watching him intently.
“What do you mean?” For a moment, Haldir was confused for he did not know what the Man talked about. His mind was still partly occupied with the calculations he had just completed with the Lady.
Éomer pushed away from the desk and walked over to stand next to the table Haldir sat at. “I do not wish for you to leave.”
The Elf suppressed a smile. “I will take that as a compliment.”
Éomer's lips quirked. “You may do that. But still, I am serious. If it was possible, would you want to stay?”
“Aye, I would.” Haldir did not really have to think about that question, for he was very well aware that Éomer was important enough for him to leave the Woods on a continuing basis.
“Is there a way to do so?” The Man's whole posture betrayed his tension.
Haldir was silent for some time and thought about the question. He wanted to stay, but his loyalty to the Lady and the Lord was strong, he did not want to leave their service. After a few minutes he said slowly: “There might be a way.”
“What idea do you have?” Haldir was able to hear the suppressed hope in Éomer's voice.
“I will have to speak to my Lady and my Lord before I can do anything.” The Elf pointed out before he explained his idea. “I can ask to remain at Edoras as an ambassador for Lothlorien. I already teach you our tongue and it is in the interest of all involved that the relations between Lorien and Rohan grow strong and secure.”
“I agree in that point.” Éomer said slowly and nodded. “The Evil Lord might be defeated, but it was certainly not the last threat to our countries. I would indeed like to strengthen the relations between Lothlorien and Rohan, even more so if you are the ambassador.”
Haldir smiled at the last sentence. “I would do my best to be a worthy ambassador.”
“Do you think you will be permitted to stay?”Éomer asked with a notion of doubt in his voice.
“I will ask my Lady and my Lord tonight. It is their decision, not mine.” Haldir did not like to promise what he could not decide, but he was fairly certain that the Lady already had plans on her own what concerned him and the King of Rohan.
“I would like to know you here at Edoras at my side.” Haldir felt Éomer's hand slowly playing with a strand on his silvery hair while the Man talked.
“So would I.” Haldir smiled gently.
“Will you spend the night with me?” The Man's voice was a mixture of uncertainty and wishful longing. “I hate to fall asleep alone every night knowing you are so close.”
“You are aware of the risk we are taking.” Haldir did not want anything more than to return to Éomer's quarters tonight and forget about the rest of the world. But he did not intend to harm his lover because of his physical desire. “You are the King and I do not want to endanger your reputation.”
“I do not care what could happen.” The rough sound of the Man's voice sent a shiver down Haldir's back. “I need you close. I thought I had lost you once before and it was the worst time of my life. I will do everything for Rohan, but you are the one to give me the strength to do so.”
Haldir felt a lump build in his throat and swallowed in an attempt to get rid of it. “I will be at your side, meleth. But I have question I need you to answer.”
Éomer nodded seriously. “I will answer any question you ask.”
Haldir nodded and felt slightly nervous. It was not a feeling he was used to and he did not like it. “You are King of Rohan. It is your duty to produce an heir to continue the line of your family. Will you marry?”
Éomer was silent for a moment, but held Haldir's gaze steadily. “Nay. I could not.”
Haldir nodded and felt relief wash over him. The answer had no influence on his decision to ask his Lady to stay at Edoras, but he knew that, even though he would have endured it, it would have killed him to see another person at Éomer's side.
“I do not know how to solve the problem with an heir, however. I will have to find a solution when the time has come, but I will not marry.” Éomer's voice was firm and certain and it made Haldir smile in relief.
“That is good to know.” Haldir did not like how much his relief could be heard in his voice.
Éomer must have heard it as well for he let go of the strand of hair he had played with and cupped Haldir's face with both hands, sinking onto his knees in front of the Elf and caught his gaze. “Never think anybody could take your place, melamin.”
Haldir had to smile at the use of his tongue. He knew Éomer meant what he said. “I will not. Amin mela lle, Éomer.”
The colour rising into the the Man's cheeks told him he had understood the meaning of the words. “As do I, Haldir.”
The Elf smiled gently and leaned forwards to brush a chaste kiss on his lover's lips. He felt the Man's hands slowly caress his neck and let his own hands find their way into Éomer's hair, toying with the braids that pulled the wild strands back. “You do know that any Elf who has seen you with these knows we are lovers, do you not?”
Éomer chuckled. “It has occurred to me.”
“You are still wearing them, though.”
“Aye, I do. Even if I wanted to, there is no sense in removing them now after I wore them long enough for everybody to notice.” The Man shrugged casually. “And I do not wish to remove them. I understand that our kind of love is common for Elves, even though it is less common for Men.”
“For two males to love one another and live together is in fact commonplace within Elven society.” Haldir agreed. “We love a person, not a gender.”
Éomer chuckled after a moment. “I just wonder how many Men actually understood the meaning of the braids.”
“That is a good question. I reckon not to many know Elven braiding techniques well enough to place them. Aragorn will have, though.” the Elf pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
“I think he and Legolas already had their suspicions beforehand.” the Man replied dryly but with a measure of humour.
“Aye, they had. Aragorn talked to me, after I woke up after my injury at the Black Gates.” Haldir informed his lover with a teasing smile.
“What did he say?” There was curiosity as well as suspicion in the Rohirrim's voice.
“He let me know that you never left my side while I was down and that you even set camp next to me. And that it took your sister's strong hand to get you to rest yourself once I was out of danger.”
“I was worried.” Éomer said quietly, almost shyly. “No, I was terrified. To see you so lifeless was as bad as finding Éowyn after the battle of Pelennor Fields and thinking she was dead.”
Haldir let his fingertips caress the Man's face with small reassuring strokes. “I am sorry I put you through that.”
“It was not your fault.” Éomer caught one of Haldir's hands and kissed the inside of his wrist. “It could have happened to anybody of us and I am just glad you came out of it all right.”
“So do I.” the Elf said while looking at his hand that his lover held. “Still, I never wished to hurt you.”
There was a pause while Éomer gently kissed the Elf on the lips. Haldir felt himself respond to the touch immediately, but he pulled back. It was no the time right now.
“We have to go to dinner.” Haldir remarked reluctantly. “We cannot be late, everybody will be waiting for you.”
“You are right.” Éomer got up from his knees and stretched. Then he looked up and down himself and sighted. “I will have to change.”
“Indeed, you do. As do I, so I will see you in the hall in some minutes.” With a last, short kiss, Haldir left the office, heart lighter than it had been in a while.
***
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***
***
Haldir lay on a branch, stared through the leaves into the darkening sky and took a deep breath. He had been back at Lorien for nearly two weeks now, but his mood had not improved. He was silent and even more withdrawn than he normally was. He could not keep his thoughts from returning to Éomer. To occupy his mind, Haldir had begun to build bows again, a craft he had not pursued in several decades. He was very productive in his free hours, but it had not brought the desired effect.
“You are thinking about your Man, are you not?” Rúmil had approached him silently and was now slowly and gracefully sitting down on the branch next to him. Haldir did not bother to look up, he knew Rúmil would not let go of him before he got an answer.
“He is not my Man.” Haldir said instead of a response.
Rúmil only laughed at that. “Then you are in denial, my dear brother.”
“What do you mean by that?” Haldir frowned slightly and turned his head to glare at his brother, but Rúmil was immune to his stare.
“You feel for him.” the other Elf simply stated. “I saw it in the way you treated him, in every word and every gesture. And I saw the braids when he left.”
Haldir tensed, then he sighted wearily.
“When you braided his hair you stated to every Elf who saw him that he is yours.” Rúmil watched him closely. “And I know you well enough to understand you would not do such a thing lightly.”
He seemed to think and then he added after a short pause: “In fact, I cannot remember that you have ever done it.”
Haldir remained silent and held his gaze focussed on the stars he could see through the leaves. Rúmil simply sat next to him and waited, he knew Haldir was going to speak and just needed some time to order his thoughts. “You are right. I have never done it before.”
“You care for him greatly, then.” his brother stated the obvious.
“More than I should.” Haldir heard himself admit after a moment. “He is the King of Rohan now, there is no place for me.”
“But there was before?”
“Maybe. I do not know.” Haldir sighted gravely. “It is not important anyway, for the situation has changed and he is King now.”
Rúmil was silent for some time, then he turned to his brother with serious eyes. “Does he care for you as much as you care for him?”
“We never expressed in words what we felt for we both knew there was no future.” Haldir held his gaze. “But there was no doubt we both were aware of our connection.”
“So he does return your affection.” Rúmil stated, eyebrows raised.
“Aye, he does. But there is no way we can live our feelings.” Haldir could hear himself how resigned he sounded when he spoke those words.
“So you will just remain as you were for the last weeks?” Something in Rúmil's tone made Haldir look up. “We can all see your grief, dear brother. You are experienced enough that you should be able to realise that you show the symptoms of a broken heart.”
“Do I?” Now that Rúmil had said it, Haldir could indeed see it. Still, it took him by surprise. He had been aware how deeply he cared for Éomer, but up to now he had avoided to name those feelings. He knew it would only make his pain worse. “Aye, I guess I do.”
“It pains me to see you like this.” Rúmil gently touched his brother's arm. “Is there anything we can do to change the situation?”
Haldir shook his head with a sad smile. “There is nothing.”
***
Éowyn looked over the words she had written in the last two hours, then she took a deep breath and rolled the sheet and applied her seal. Then she sent for Aldar, her most trusted messenger who arrived in her chambers mere minutes later.
“Listen well.” Éowyn kept the scroll in a firm grip in her fist. “This is a message for Haldir of Lothlorien. He is the Warden of the Woods. I want you to pass this message to him – and to him only. Nobody else is allowed to receive it.”
The man nodded, took the sealed scroll and put it in a hidden pocket of his tunic.
“Ride fast and safe, Aldar, for this is important.” The Lady gave him an insistent gaze.
“Be reassured, I will deliver your message safely to Haldir of Lothlorien, my Lady.” He bowed deeply and left the Hall. Éowyn let her gaze trail after him and hoped sincerely that she was doing the right thing.
***
“A Man entered the woods.” Haldir listened to Rúmil while they approached the position of the trespasser. “He bears the emblem of Rohan.”
Haldir nodded and tried not to react any different than he would have reacted to a trespasser of any other kingdom. They quickly came to a spot from where they could see the Man walking between the trees. He did not appear suspicious, he rather moved like somebody who wanted to be found. Haldir gave signal to the rest of his Elves and they spread around the Man.
“Why do you enter these woods?” Haldir left the shadows of the trees and revealed himself. “Speak.”
The Man stopped and lifted his arms to prove he had no intention to pull a weapon. “I am Aldar son of Amar. I come from Rohan and I bring message from Lady Éowyn of Rohan for Haldir of Lothlorien.”
Even without looking, Haldir knew that his brother was staring at his back with a smirk on his face.
“You can give your message to us, Aldar of Rohan.” Rúmil said behind him. “We will pass it on.”
The Man shook his head. “I cannot do that, Master Elf, for I promised my Lady to only hand it to Haldir of Lorien in person.”
“Is that so?” Rúmil asked and Haldir could hear the silent triumph in his voice. “You are blessed by the spirits then, because Haldir of Lorien is our captain.”
Haldir stepped forward and slowly walked towards the Man. His archers still had their arrows pointed at the Man. “I am Haldir of Lorien.”
The Man eyed him carefully, then he gave a small smile.“Yes, you are. I recognise you from Helm's Deep. You led the archers that came to our help.”
Haldir nodded and indicated the other guardians to lower their bows. The Man reached into a pocked in his tunic and produced a small, sealed scroll. “I was told to let you know this was important.”
He held the scroll out and Haldir took it out of his hand and put it in one of his own pockets. “In this case, you will excuse me. My Elves will show you a place where you can rest before you return.”
Haldir nodded to Rúmil before he left the group for some privacy. His brother was he second in command and knew very well what to do, there was no need to worry about the other guardians. So he walked until he reached the small stream he had aimed for and sat down on the root of a tree before he took the scroll out of his pocket. He wondered briefly why the Lady of Rohan wrote him, but then curiosity got the better of him and he broke the seal and unrolled the scroll.
The handwriting was small but strong and elegant. It fitted perfectly the woman who had produced it, Haldir thought with a small smile.
“Be greeted, Haldir of Lorien,
I know you must wonder for what reason I send a message to you. It concerns my brother who is very dear to me and, if my impression does not err, so is he to you. Normally I would not interfere with his decisions, but I do not wish to see him unhappy. I am aware that your connection runs deeper than mere fellow warriors and I ask you to think about what exactly he means to you.
I do not know what those braids you did signify, for I am certain they have a meaning, but I know that my brother still wears them and refuses to take them out. If you feel what I suspect you do, then use this information wisely.
To mid July my brother will return to Minas Tirith to bring our uncle home for a funeral within our ancestors. I know the capital of Gondor is faster and easier to reach from Lorien then Edoras is, as the Great River brings you there directly. A meeting at Elessar's court could give both of you the time and leisure you need.
I hope I do not offend you with my boldness, but I feel there is the need to interfere because I know my brother is too stubborn and proud to do what is good for him. I hope you are not, for I wish to see him happy again.
Yours sincerely,
Éowyn of Rohan”
Haldir stared at the scroll in his hand for some minutes, then he read it again. He was not certain his eyes had not mislead him, but after the third time reading the message, he was sure that the Lady was indeed far more daring than most people gave her credit for. And he finally understood why she had insisted that the message be handed to him personally only.
Now he had to decide what to do with the information the Lady had given him. He did not know her very well, but he was certain that the situation must be severe if it made her write something like this. She loved her brother dearly, he was certain of this.
“What shall I do?” Haldir whispered gently to himself. “Shall I go or shall I not?”
“I want you to go.” Haldir turned in surprise to find his Rúmil standing behind him. “You need him, he is your other half.”
“You do not know what the message was about, so how can you give any advice?” Haldir was well aware that his harsh words were meant to be his own defence.
“The Lady of Rohan sent you a message strictly directed at you only. She happens to be the sister of the Man you fell for and a very fierce and intelligent woman, as we both know.” Rúmil made a little pause before he continued. “It was not very difficult to figure out in which matter she was writing.”
“It would not be wise to go.” Haldir knew his own resistance was thin and Rúmil's words made it crumble.
“It is not important whether it is wise or not. I do not want to see your light fade if there is any way to prevent that from happening.” His brother's arms were crossed and his whole posture spoke of determination. “If Lady Éowyn wrote you, she must be concerned. Go and see him.”
“Nothing has changed, though.” Haldir tried everything to convince himself that it was better not to leave for Minas Tirith, even though his heart screamed for it. “He is still King of Rohan and I am a mere guardian of the woods, and an Elf and male on top of it. There is no future for us.”
Rúmil came over to where his brother sat and put his hand on his shoulder. “If he suffers anything like you, she is doing the right thing trying to bring the two of you back together.”
Haldir took a deep breath and let the air escape with a sigh. “I want to see him so much that I do not trust my own judgement where he is concerned. It is my duty to do what is right, not to pursue what I crave.”
“Maybe it is the same this time.” Rúmil just replied with a little smile.
It happened that destiny helped Haldir to make his decision. When he and his guards returned to Caras Galadhon that evening, Lady Galadriel sent for him and Haldir made his way over to meet her. She received him with a friendly smile, but Haldir knew her long enough to be able to read that there was more behind it than mere greeting.
“We will leave for Gondor in a week.” the Lady announced without preamble. “The cortège for King Theoden of Rohan will leave Minas Tirith in less than a fortnight and we will join it. You are to prepare the journey and send word to Estel's court.”
“Aye, my Lady.” Haldir said with a slight bow.
“I want you to accompany us. I understand you have yourself a matter to settle with the young King of Rohan.” She gave him a gentle smile. “You will find time to do so once we arrive at Minas Tirith.”
Haldir returned the smile. “Thank you, my Lady.”
“I hope you will be able to find a satisfactory solution.” Her gaze was firm but it showed concern. “We all want your light to glow brightly, Haldir, not as it was in the last months.”
Haldir nodded slowly. “I will do what I can. As far as I have any influence on the matter.”
“You have great influence.” She fixed her intense gaze onto him. “It is your own opinion you need to question.”
Haldir held her eyes. She nodded with one of her half smiles that always left him guessing what she thought and let him now he might leave.
“My Lady.” He bowed and turned.
It was but a week later that the company under Haldir's guidance left Lothlorien for the haven at the Great River. They would travel mostly on the river, but still the journey would take at least a week and Haldir wanted to arrive at Estel's court with enough time to let his Lady and Lord settle for some days.
It was with relief that he noticed Minas Tirith coming into sight after exactly seven days of travelling. It was noon when they moored the ships to the quays of Osgiliath and early afternoon when they passed the gates of the capital of Gondor. Haldir and Rúmil made their way up to the King's House and organised the housing of their company with the housekeeper who had been informed of his arrival in advance and had already prepared the chambers.
Once the Lady and the Lord as well as his Elves were settled in their respective quarters, Haldir used the bathing facilities to wash off the dirt from the journey and braided his hair, then he put on clean clothes and joined his fellow travellers in the Great Hall to pay his courtesy to Estel and Arwen. He had not the slightest idea if Éomer had already arrived at court or not, but he was certain he would find out once he talked to Estel.
When Haldir arrived at the entry of the Great Hall, he remained dead in his tracks in the doorway and found himself staring at the figure next to Arwen. Lady Éowyn had told the truth, he could see that the braids in the blond hair of her brother were slightly outgrown and ruffled, bespeaking the fact that he had neither taken them out nor redone them in the two and a half months since Haldir had braided them. It felt like a shock of joy as well as of anticipation.
Haldir shook out of his reverie and walked into the hall. He felt himself grow nervous at the prospect of being close to the Man again. For once he had no idea how Éomer would react to his presence and furthermore Haldir also knew he could not resist the Rohirrim. With a last deep breath Haldir approached Arwen and the King of Rohan.
***
The day had been filled with preparations for the departure of the funeral procession of his uncle that was to leave the next morning. Éomer had been at Minas Tirith for three days and it had taken all that time to ready the procession. There would be several high guest travel with them, from Aragorn and Lady Arwen to the Lady and the Lord of Lothlorien who had arrived earlier that afternoon. Éomer had been so occupied with all the tasks he had to fulfil before they would leave in the morning that he had not even had the time to find out if Haldir was with the company of Lorien. The thought had not left him since he had heard of the messenger who had arrived in the morning to announce the Lady and the Lord of the Woods.
It was early afternoon and Éomer stood next to Queen Arwen in the Great Hall, talking with her about the arrangements for the departure of the next morning. The Lady and the Lord of Lothlorien had arrived some time ago and had joined the other guests in the hall, but there had been no sign of Haldir. Éomer had greeted the Lady and the Lord of the Woods but it had not been the moment to ask about his Elf, so he was still waiting to learn if Haldir had been part of the company or not.
“Greetings to you, Lady Arwen and Lord Éomer.” The Man heard a familiar voice behind him and felt himself tense immediately. He slowly turned and felt a wave of several feeling sweep over him, everything from concern to anticipation to desire when he saw the face of Haldir, his slightly amused smile and his expressive eyes that told him that the Elf was not as relaxed as he pretended to be.
“Haldir!” Queen Arwen smiled widely and greeted the other Elf with a cordial embrace. “It is good to see you came as well.”
“Of course I came.” Haldir returned her gesture. “I wish to pay King Theoden respect just as my Lady and my Lord do.”
Éomer listened to them and felt unable to participate in the conversation. His voice was gone and the urge to touch Haldir to convince himself that the Elf was truly there became overwhelmingly strong. With all his ingrained discipline, Éomer forced himself to regain his composure.
“It is a pleasant surprise to see you so soon again.” Éomer said formally and was proud that his voice did not betray the turmoil of his thoughts.
“That is true, my friend.” Haldir was equally polite, but when Éomer caught his gaze, he knew immediately that the Elf felt no better than he did. “May I borrow King Éomer for a moment, my Lady?”
“Of course, Haldir.” Éomer was certain he saw mirth in the Queen's eyes. “I have to look after my other guests anyway.”
Haldir and Éomer bowed when she turned with a little smile and left them standing in the hall. Haldir caught the Man's gaze and said quietly: “Follow me.”
Not for a moment did it occur to Éomer to not go after the Elf, he just followed him through the corridors of the King's House until the Elf opened a door and let him in. Once the door had fallen shut behind them, Éomer felt Haldir's hand in his hair, toying with one of the outgrown braids. The Man leaned against the wood in his back and locked his gaze with the Elf. He had to fight to keep his hands down and prevent them from pulling Haldir close.
“We should not do this.” Éomer said and he himself could hear how half-hearted it sounded. Haldir's closeness did not exactly help him to stay concentrated either, he could feel the warmth of the Elf through his clothes.
“I do not care.” the Elf whispered and came even closer, until his body pressed along Éomer's. His hands wandered down the Man's chest and caused goosebumps to appear all over his body.
“Neither do I.” Éomer decided and buried his hand in the long silvery strands to pull the Elf into a fierce kiss that bespoke all the longing that had built up over the last two and a half months. All his desire came up at once and his hands buried in Haldir's clothes, trying at the same time to get beneath them and pull the Elf closer.
“Éomer...” The hoarse sound made the Man shiver.
“I love it when you say my name.” Éomer whispered in the Elf's ear and began to nibble at the sensitive top. Haldir consequently let out a moan deep in his throat and pressed closer to his lover, hands gripping into his hips. He brought their groins into contact, letting the Man feel the evidence of their mutual desire.
“Éomer...” Haldir's hands found the Man's backside and held on, slowly rubbing against the thigh that Éomer had pushed between his legs.
“You feel so good.” Éomer was slightly surprised at how breathless and needy he sounded, even to his own ears. He met the Elf's lips halfway for another kiss, one hand tangled in the long silvery strands, the other caressing the Elf's back.
“You have to many clothes on.” he heard the Elf complain teasingly and then he felt how his tunic was pulled over his head, followed by Haldir's own. There was an urge to their touches that had built over the last months, a need to feel and to reassure the other was there. Éomer felt his Elf kissing his neck, licking down over his bare chest, finding a nipple and gently biting down on it. The Man could no help a low moan, his fingers fisting in the long silvery strands.
Haldir switched to the other nipple, then he slowly let himself sink to his knees, leaving a trail of kisses and licks on his way down to the Man's groin. His hands found the fastenings and opened them quickly before pulling down the garment. Éomer felt the fresh air brush over his skin just before the Elf's mouth closed over the tip of his erection and with a throaty groan the Man's head fell backwards to lean against the wooden door in his back.
The Elf's tongue trailed along the length of his shaft, hand closing around the root and moving in sync with his head. Éomer felt like he was loosing all ability to think with every touch of his Elf and found he did not care the least, all that counted was that Haldir was here with him, his incredibly skilled mouth on the Man's erection and his hair under the Rohirrim's fingers.
“Oh Gods, Haldir...” If the Elf went on like this, Éomer knew he would not last very long. His whole body leaned against the door for support, his knees would not carry him much longer. The Elf was very skilled at this, he managed to make the Man groan again and again, slowly being reduced to a mass of nerve-endings that responded to the Elf's touch.
“Haldir...” It took Éomer a great effort to actually form words. “I am too close...”
The Elf did neither stop nor slowed down his pace. With all his strength, the Man forced some more words out. “I want to come with you.”
That seemed to work, for Haldir gently let go of Éomer's erection and got up from his knees until his head was right next to his lovers. He nibbled at the Man's throat, his hand still wrapped around his shaft, and whispered with a rough voice, “I want you.”
The words made a shiver of anticipation run down Éomer's spine and his response was equally hoarse. “Then take me.”
***
“Let us enjoy the luxury of Estel's bathhouse, meleth.” Haldir suggested when the evening approached. “We should be clean for the feast tonight.”
Éomer smiled against the skin of the Elf's chest. “I got a completely new relation to bathing since I know you, Haldir.”
Haldir chuckled. “In a positive way, I hope.”
“Indeed. I always remember how much fun it can be to take a bath with you.” the Man answered and kissed the Elf's throat.
“Let us make our way over to the bathhouse, then.” Haldir said, smile evident in his voice. They got up from the bed, put on their old clothes and gathered new ones to change for the dinner after bathing. The bathing facilities were in a separate part of the King's House and there were several large tubs in different rooms. Haldir and Éomer choose an empty room and had the tub filled with hot water while they undressed and stepped into the large tub.
“Shall I redo your braids?” Haldir asked casually while he sat back in the hot water.
Éomer laughed gently. “Aye, I think they seriously need to be redone. They lasted long the way they are.”
“That is true, melamin.” Haldir grinned and then lazily glided through the water towards Éomer. He opened one braid after the other and let his hands glide through the hair to loosen the strands, at the same time enjoying the feeling of their softness under his fingers. He took the soap and slowly washed his lover's hair, enjoying the way Éomer leaned into his touch. When they had finished bathing and had returned to their chambers, the Rohirrim's hair was mostly dry. Haldir sat behind him on the bed and carefully braided the strands in the same fashion he had done before.
Once he was finished, Haldir fingered one of the newly made braids and began to gently toy with it. The fire played with the colours of Éomer's hair and varied them again and again.
“So, will you tell me what they mean?” Éomer asked quietly and enjoyed to simply lean back against the Elf and lie in front of the fire.
“Hmm?” Haldir nuzzled the Man's ear and knew he was just trying to gain time because he was not certain he was ready to answer that question.
“The braids.” the Rohirrim added quietly.
“May I ask you something first?” Haldir lazily let his fingers trail over the Man's chest, drew tangled patterns and played with the chest hair that so fascinated him.
Éomer made an affirmative little sound.
“Why did you keep the braids?” Haldir felt his heart actually speed up while he waited for the answer.
“I cannot explain it, but they feel important. For you. And therefore for me.” Éomer's voice was low, barely audible, but Haldir's sharp Elven hearing easily picked the words up. He let go of the breath that he had not realised he had held, relaxed and buried his face in the blond curls in front of him.
“They are Elven love braids.” he answered gently. “For me, they are important.”
Haldir felt Éomer tense for a moment and fought down the panic that threatened to rise at the Man's reaction. Then Éomer relaxed and snuggled even deeper in his embrace. “So they are for me.”
The Elf felt a smile spread over his features. After a short pause, he heard Éomer add something, his voice considerably deeper and a little bit husky. “I'm glad I did not take them out.”
“Me too, meleth.” Haldir agreed and gently kissed the temple of his lover.
“Love.” Éomer said quietly.
“What?” Haldir was confused for a moment, he could not follow the Man's train of thought.
“You called me love.” the Man explained.
“You understand my tongue?” Haldir was very surprised and at the same time felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. He should have considered this possibility instead of simply assuming that the Man did not understand him.
“Enough to know what the endearments you used mean.” Éomer answered and Haldir was relieved to hear the smile in the Man's voice. “I understood the gradual change from friend to love, too.”
“You did not tell me.” Haldir said and was relieved that there was no reproach in his voice.
He felt Éomer slowly shake his head. “Nay.”
“Why?”
“Because the assumption that I did not understand you made you say honestly what you felt.” the Man said gently. “It was my way of knowing what this whole thing between us meant to you.”
“You are right, meleth.” Haldir replied and kissed Éomer on the neck. “I used these names because I thought you did not know what they meant.”
The Man let his head fall back to rest on Haldir's shoulder. “Would you teach me your tongue?”
For a moment, the Elf was silent. “You would want to learn it?”
“I would.” Éomer kissed the ear in his reach and smiled. “I want to understand and speak your beautiful language.”
“I would be honoured to teach you.” Haldir answered and let his arms slide around the Man in an loose embrace.
“I have to leave tomorrow for Edoras, though.” Éomer said quietly and rested his lips against the Elf's neck.
“I will be part of the procession and the burial ritual to show my respect, as you know. So I will be with you at Edoras, I can teach you then.” Haldir suggested, letting his hands draw slow patterns on the Man's chest.
“That is a good idea.” Éomer caught the Elf's hands and pulled the arms around him in a tight embrace. “It will be good to know you with me, during the procession as well as afterwards.”
“I will do whatever I can to support you.” Haldir said gently and tightened his hold on his lover. “I understand how difficult it is to bury a loved one and show strength at the same time.”
“Thank you, my love.” Éomer replied, then paused. “Melamin.”
Haldir could not help smiling, at the words as well as at the meaning. “You learn fast, meleth.”
***
The morning was clouded when they left Minas Tirith with the cortège that would take the dead King Theoden back to Edoras where his burial would take place. Éomer rode at the head of the procession, Haldir to his right and Aragorn to his left. It would take them several weeks at this speed to reach Edoras and Éomer was glad he had Haldir with him. The journey itself might not be tiring at its slow pace, but the emotional strain that had not worn off yet concerning the death of his uncle and the new duties as King of Rohan wore him out. It was the knowledge that he could leave everything behind when he was finally alone with his Elf that made him stand through the days.
When Edoras came into sight, the way of the procession to the Golden Hall was framed with the people of Rohan who had come from all over the country to pay their last respect to the fallen King. Éomer felt his throat tighten at the sight of the masses standing in ghostly silence to both sides of the way, bowing when the bier of the dead King passed them. It was an atmosphere of deep respect and sincere mourning that let a shiver run down Éomer's spine. He hoped he could follow the example of his uncle and be the kind of King his people needed and would respected. He had never been meant to be King of Rohan and at this moment he felt truly inadequately prepared for the task lying ahead of him.
It was then that he felt a leg against his and he turned to find Haldir had ridden close enough to brush his leg. The Elf gave him an encouraging nod, his eyes smiling at him since he could not do it openly in the middle of the procession. The small gesture gave Éomer the strength to sit up straight and ride with the dignity worthy of the King of Rohan. It was his duty to his people and he would master every obstacle that may come.
When they arrived at Meduseld, Theoden was laid in state in the hall in a silent ceremony. The burial would be in two days, when the ceremony and celebrations in memory of the great King were thoroughly prepared. Éomer was tense in those days. Haldir was not sharing his quarters but had a separate chamber and they could not spend as much time with each other as the Man would have liked. It was difficult to even find a moment alone and even more unlikely that he could spent it with the Elf.
Then the day of the actual burial of King Theoden had come and Éomer felt the weight of the whole kingdom on his shoulders when the bier with the body of his uncle, covered in a golden cloth, passed him and was carried into the burial mound. The ceremony made it final that the time of King Theoden was over and that the days of King Éomer had begun.
The celebrations after the burial were the greatest feast the Golden Hall had ever seen. It had taken two days to prepare it, but the work had been worth it. Éomer saw his people remember with a laugh, saw them eat and drink together while sharing stories and games, saw them dance and smile and knew that the feast had served it purpose. He stood at the upper end of the hall and watched his people and all the different guests from Elves to Gondorians to Dwarfs mingle contently in the festivities.
“It is a great celebration.” Éomer heard a familiar voice behind him and did not need to turn to know who it was.
“My uncle would have liked it.” the Man said quietly, but with a little smile. “He would have wanted the people to smile at his memory, not to cry.”
“Then you succeeded to fulfil that wish.” Haldir stepped next to him, but remained in an appropriate distance, and lowered his voice. “Let go of your grief, meleth. That is what this celebration is meant for.”
“I know.” Éomer's voice was equally quiet. “I try to go on. It helps to see Éowyn smile again.”
Haldir followed the Man's gaze to where the Lady of Rohan stood together with the Steward of Gondor and Arwen. Her smile was gentle and full of affection for the Man at her side.“She has found her happiness, it seems.”
“Aye, she has. She truly deserves it.” Haldir turned his head to watch his lover. Éomer's smile was gentle and sincere. “She wants to marry him.”
“And you agree.” It was more a statement than a question.
“She made a wise choice. Faramir of Gondor is a good man and he is as fond of her as she is of him.”
“She will leave Rohan, then.” Haldir remarked quietly. It was another blow for Éomer, not that the Man would ever say so aloud. He wanted his sister to be happy and he would not do anything that might prevent her from going her way, even if it hurt him.
“Aye, she will.” He smiled wistfully. “She asked me to announce her engagement to Faramir tonight.”
“So the decision is taken.” Haldir watched the Lady of Rohan again and found that she had done the right thing. It was obvious that she was happy with the Steward, and the glow in the Man's eyes told him Faramir shared her feelings. Haldir adored Lady Éowyn and respected her deeply, he wanted her to leave the times of dearth and worry behind. “Is already set when she will leave?”
“No. She will stay at Edoras for some more time, though.” Éomer sounded relieved and Haldir understood that with Éowyn the last of the Man's family would leave. “It is time to make the announcement.”
Éomer stepped forward and Haldir remained where he stood at the upper end of the Golden Hall and watched his lover go over to Éowyn. He talked to her and Faramir for a moment and then they went with him to the centre of the hall. Éomer raised his voice and greeted the people gathered and announced the betrothal of his sister to Faramir of Gondor with the old words, a smile on his face. Éowyn seemed to glow from within and Faramir smiled widely when Éomer put his sisters hand in the hand of the Gondorian. It was good to see true happiness after the long times of mistrust and grief, Haldir thought with a little smile.
The celebrations went on until the morning had broken and the birds had started to sing. When Haldir returned to the quarters he had been given and shared with his brothers, he felt exhausted emotionally and physically. He would have wanted to go to sleep with Éomer in his arms, but he was well aware of the eyes that were fixed on the new King who still had to prove himself. With a little sigh Haldir lay down on the bed and stared at the wooden ceiling. He did not have any idea what kind of future he had with the Man – if there was any at all. His brothers were long asleep when Haldir was finally overtaken by sleep as well.
The following days were spent in amicable gatherings for meals and spare time to recover the long periods one had not seen each other. Éomer was gone for some time, needing to fulfil his duties as the King of Rohan. There was much to do after the mess Grima Wormtongue and the war had left. Haldir joined Éomer in some tasks to take some weight off his shoulders, and Lady Éowyn seemed to have the same idea and engaged thoroughly in the work that needed to be done. There was much financial organisation to do and Haldir and the Lady took it over to leave Éomer to the tasks that demanded his presence. In the evening, Haldir found the time to teach his lover some Sindarin for an hour or two before they attended dinner.
It was one evening about a fortnight after King Theoden's funeral that Haldir and the Lady sat bent over some parchments and some books when Éomer entered the office they worked in. He closed the door silently behind him and approached his sister and the Elf. “How are you doing?”
Lady Éowyn looked up and smiled. “We do fine. There is much left to go over, though.”
“You worked the whole day on this, is it not tiring?” Éomer asked and Haldir caught his gaze.
Lady Éowyn shook her head no. “It is difficult, but Master Haldir is excellent with this kind of work and I learn a lot from him.”
“Well, you have worked enough for today. Dinner will start shortly, leave the books be and prepare for the meal.” The Man smiled gently at his sister. “You look like you would not mind some time away from the paperwork.”
“Indeed, an evening without numbers and calculations would be nice.” The Lady stretched her neck and got up. “Master Haldir, you must stop working as well, otherwise I will stay.”
Haldir smiled at her and nodded, putting the quill demonstratively aside. “I will, my Lady. I care for a relaxed evening as much as you do.”
She smiled at him warmly. “I will see you at dinner, then.”
With the graceful movements that seemed so much part of her, she left the office and closed the door. Haldir was certain she would prepare for dinner and then spend some time with Faramir before arriving at the Golden Hall. She saw as little of him as Haldir saw of Éomer for they spent most of their time together in the office going over Rohan's finances. Haldir looked down at the papers and sanded them to make the ink dry before he set them aside, orderly piling them in one corner of the table.
“Stay.” Haldir was surprised by the word and turned to look at Éomer who stood at the desk, watching him intently.
“What do you mean?” For a moment, Haldir was confused for he did not know what the Man talked about. His mind was still partly occupied with the calculations he had just completed with the Lady.
Éomer pushed away from the desk and walked over to stand next to the table Haldir sat at. “I do not wish for you to leave.”
The Elf suppressed a smile. “I will take that as a compliment.”
Éomer's lips quirked. “You may do that. But still, I am serious. If it was possible, would you want to stay?”
“Aye, I would.” Haldir did not really have to think about that question, for he was very well aware that Éomer was important enough for him to leave the Woods on a continuing basis.
“Is there a way to do so?” The Man's whole posture betrayed his tension.
Haldir was silent for some time and thought about the question. He wanted to stay, but his loyalty to the Lady and the Lord was strong, he did not want to leave their service. After a few minutes he said slowly: “There might be a way.”
“What idea do you have?” Haldir was able to hear the suppressed hope in Éomer's voice.
“I will have to speak to my Lady and my Lord before I can do anything.” The Elf pointed out before he explained his idea. “I can ask to remain at Edoras as an ambassador for Lothlorien. I already teach you our tongue and it is in the interest of all involved that the relations between Lorien and Rohan grow strong and secure.”
“I agree in that point.” Éomer said slowly and nodded. “The Evil Lord might be defeated, but it was certainly not the last threat to our countries. I would indeed like to strengthen the relations between Lothlorien and Rohan, even more so if you are the ambassador.”
Haldir smiled at the last sentence. “I would do my best to be a worthy ambassador.”
“Do you think you will be permitted to stay?”Éomer asked with a notion of doubt in his voice.
“I will ask my Lady and my Lord tonight. It is their decision, not mine.” Haldir did not like to promise what he could not decide, but he was fairly certain that the Lady already had plans on her own what concerned him and the King of Rohan.
“I would like to know you here at Edoras at my side.” Haldir felt Éomer's hand slowly playing with a strand on his silvery hair while the Man talked.
“So would I.” Haldir smiled gently.
“Will you spend the night with me?” The Man's voice was a mixture of uncertainty and wishful longing. “I hate to fall asleep alone every night knowing you are so close.”
“You are aware of the risk we are taking.” Haldir did not want anything more than to return to Éomer's quarters tonight and forget about the rest of the world. But he did not intend to harm his lover because of his physical desire. “You are the King and I do not want to endanger your reputation.”
“I do not care what could happen.” The rough sound of the Man's voice sent a shiver down Haldir's back. “I need you close. I thought I had lost you once before and it was the worst time of my life. I will do everything for Rohan, but you are the one to give me the strength to do so.”
Haldir felt a lump build in his throat and swallowed in an attempt to get rid of it. “I will be at your side, meleth. But I have question I need you to answer.”
Éomer nodded seriously. “I will answer any question you ask.”
Haldir nodded and felt slightly nervous. It was not a feeling he was used to and he did not like it. “You are King of Rohan. It is your duty to produce an heir to continue the line of your family. Will you marry?”
Éomer was silent for a moment, but held Haldir's gaze steadily. “Nay. I could not.”
Haldir nodded and felt relief wash over him. The answer had no influence on his decision to ask his Lady to stay at Edoras, but he knew that, even though he would have endured it, it would have killed him to see another person at Éomer's side.
“I do not know how to solve the problem with an heir, however. I will have to find a solution when the time has come, but I will not marry.” Éomer's voice was firm and certain and it made Haldir smile in relief.
“That is good to know.” Haldir did not like how much his relief could be heard in his voice.
Éomer must have heard it as well for he let go of the strand of hair he had played with and cupped Haldir's face with both hands, sinking onto his knees in front of the Elf and caught his gaze. “Never think anybody could take your place, melamin.”
Haldir had to smile at the use of his tongue. He knew Éomer meant what he said. “I will not. Amin mela lle, Éomer.”
The colour rising into the the Man's cheeks told him he had understood the meaning of the words. “As do I, Haldir.”
The Elf smiled gently and leaned forwards to brush a chaste kiss on his lover's lips. He felt the Man's hands slowly caress his neck and let his own hands find their way into Éomer's hair, toying with the braids that pulled the wild strands back. “You do know that any Elf who has seen you with these knows we are lovers, do you not?”
Éomer chuckled. “It has occurred to me.”
“You are still wearing them, though.”
“Aye, I do. Even if I wanted to, there is no sense in removing them now after I wore them long enough for everybody to notice.” The Man shrugged casually. “And I do not wish to remove them. I understand that our kind of love is common for Elves, even though it is less common for Men.”
“For two males to love one another and live together is in fact commonplace within Elven society.” Haldir agreed. “We love a person, not a gender.”
Éomer chuckled after a moment. “I just wonder how many Men actually understood the meaning of the braids.”
“That is a good question. I reckon not to many know Elven braiding techniques well enough to place them. Aragorn will have, though.” the Elf pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
“I think he and Legolas already had their suspicions beforehand.” the Man replied dryly but with a measure of humour.
“Aye, they had. Aragorn talked to me, after I woke up after my injury at the Black Gates.” Haldir informed his lover with a teasing smile.
“What did he say?” There was curiosity as well as suspicion in the Rohirrim's voice.
“He let me know that you never left my side while I was down and that you even set camp next to me. And that it took your sister's strong hand to get you to rest yourself once I was out of danger.”
“I was worried.” Éomer said quietly, almost shyly. “No, I was terrified. To see you so lifeless was as bad as finding Éowyn after the battle of Pelennor Fields and thinking she was dead.”
Haldir let his fingertips caress the Man's face with small reassuring strokes. “I am sorry I put you through that.”
“It was not your fault.” Éomer caught one of Haldir's hands and kissed the inside of his wrist. “It could have happened to anybody of us and I am just glad you came out of it all right.”
“So do I.” the Elf said while looking at his hand that his lover held. “Still, I never wished to hurt you.”
There was a pause while Éomer gently kissed the Elf on the lips. Haldir felt himself respond to the touch immediately, but he pulled back. It was no the time right now.
“We have to go to dinner.” Haldir remarked reluctantly. “We cannot be late, everybody will be waiting for you.”
“You are right.” Éomer got up from his knees and stretched. Then he looked up and down himself and sighted. “I will have to change.”
“Indeed, you do. As do I, so I will see you in the hall in some minutes.” With a last, short kiss, Haldir left the office, heart lighter than it had been in a while.
***
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